the email

today i got an email from a girl that i found on craigslist who was a Mass Art student that was looking for a roommate. the email was very positive and excited about Mass Art. she had even transferred from SCAD which she hadn't liked. so it balanced out some of the horror stories i had heard through my grandpa (who was involved in an art college and very connected to the world of art school at the moment) and from student reviews. granted one person isn't me, but hey, it was nice to hear someone so excited, it got me more excited.

so i am looking forward to heading out east this fall, though i am pretty sad to be leaving my friends and some family behind. ah well, it'll be a fun adventure!

the end

this is post 51, divisible by 17.

i'm going to Mass Art next year.

it came down to reviews by students that i read. i am not fully confident with my choice, but am sticking with it and we'll see how it goes.

but i will be happy to be near family, in a great city, and at a school with lots of space (even if the buildings aren't super well maintained, the heating was broken when i visited, it was HOT HOT HOT!)

ahhh, it's nice to have chosen, now time for paperwork.

the game

i just had my friend and her mom play rock, paper, scissors while i had predetermined which person was which of my two schools. her mom won, meaning i would go to Mass Art.

i was rather happy with that decision, but as time passes i get more and more questioning of any decision i make, rather than just being happy with a choice.

today i also started a pro list for each school, listing positive attributes of each school. it only proves more of everything i have said before... MICA has a strong argument with great housing options and a solid environment, where i know i would get a good education and such. but as much as i love it as a school and think i would be happy there, it also seems a little intense and too distant from any other college students and people i know and love, etc, etc. i do have a friend there, but it just seems scary to go to an unknownish area. although i have spent a lot of time there and completely LOVE LOVE LOVE one of the museums there, especially their gift shop.

Mass Art is unknown in the education realm since i have no experience there and the reports from students seem a little more wishy washy than those of MICA's faculty. yet, it seems comforting to be lost in such a crazy, busy world, rather than the intensity of MICA. perhaps i am just avoiding MICA, i don't know. the benefits of the atmosphere of boston and the people i know around and the college city, seems perhaps like something to leap and see if the education is more than it appears. there is a chance i am also making their education seem evil in my head just because it isn't as "perfect" or "superior" or whatever as some other schools may seem to me.

the uncertainty

so as i did a few days ago i choose a school. last time it was Mass Arts, this time it is MICA. yet i feel as unsure with this decision as i did with the other.

last time my mom told me i had enough money to go to MICA, which made me rethink it. this time, my art teacher said location does have its place. both statements did not make me want to go, rather they took me back to square one, where i had to choose between the two again, reorganize my priorities.

at this point, MICA seems solid as a good education (for me!) and Mass Arts is solid locationwise in boston near family and a maine getaway. having family means i am loaded with options to have access to family, family meals, cars, etc.

so if only MICA was in boston (my dad adds with california weather) i would be super excited and content in most every way.

as this is not the case, i guess i shall pretend to have chosen MICA, but my being continues to be left stirred up and not satisfied with either decision. in reality, almost no decisions satisfy me. maybe i will end up at Puget Sound after all.

the research

as my decision gets down to the wire, my mom and i have talked and talked and argued and talked and got to a place where choosing between Mass Art and MICA feels like a tossup, not because they are the same, but because they both offer aspects that will make me happy, as far as we can see.

so now we are researching and searching, looking at ratemyprofessor.com to get an idea of teachers in the fields i am looking into and rankings of schools to find statistics and reasons behind these lists, not simply going to the "best one" because Mass Art doesn't even rank onto these lists.

What I found encouraging for some reason is the freshman retention rates:
Mass Art 84.2
MICA 85.5
CCA 74.5

Granted they don't mean to much, there are lots of factors to consider there and such. But looking at statistics seems concrete and gives me a little sense of something.

after looking up professors, Mass Art's ceramics department seems like it could be either/or, great or bad. MICA's seems strong and about where my expectations of it would be in line with my experience with their ceramics department.

MICA is looking more appealing, i simply have a fantasy about going to Mass Art in boston near family and maine, etc. plus after i will have some money leftover.

although MICA has given me an additional three thousand a year for going to their pre-college program or something of that sort, Mass Art still appeals to ME financially after school is over. i have tons of support and will make it through school no matter where i go, but that future next egg gives me so many options after school, i am just scared that Mass Art's education might be a bust for me, but i will have no way of knowing until i go there. MICA seems safe and familiar since i have been there and can trust that it will be a good school for that reason.

the woah

so i was sitting in my bed doing this weird decision process making game thing that someone showed to me that involves cards and ordering the factors from most important to least important.

well i was looking at the factor that said "glass dept" and although it was at the bottom, my brain was thinking about it and how since all my schools had a glass department i could just take it out, but then i got to thinking and realized that MICA lacks a glass department. so now i am rocked, i have an excuse to say i don't want to go there and rick getting a horrible education at Mass Arts and have money left over to start my own nest egg or travel, whichever i prefer. hmmmm, woah!

the waffling

waffles sounds about a 2384729852093850912490182490 times better than deciding on a college. i told myself i would decide by this past weekend.

based on a million random factors that may seem petty to others, i am mostly deciding between MICA and MassArts. i hate making a decision right now, since there is so much going on and so many different reasons that each school is worth attending.

so i visited Puget Sound. it was amazing. beautiful campus with a great sense of a place to be and location and it was marvelous. but I love the sunshine and I don't think I could handle all those clouds. plus my reasoning is that i should attend an art school first and see if i really want to do art, then go "oh shit, oh shit" and transfer or take a year off.

CCA is a great school, perhaps better than the other two art schools, i have no idea. it's hard for me to tell about each school's teaching staff. the only thing i can see is that CCA has about 4 times as many professors as MassArts, but MassArts website seemed to not be updated in terms of teachers because the woman i know who works there was not listed. so in short again, i'm confused.

anyway i rooted out CCA, despite my desire to stay in california because california rocks in my opinion (minus any budget complications and earthquakes that are going on here), is because as much as a like it, it has a split campus and no meal plan and kind of questionable housing. perhaps i am being too hard on it, but i have to decide somehow, no matter how petty or material or stupid my decision may be/seem. i want the liberal arts college experience, but one doesn't really find that at the art schools i choose, so i am doing my best at finding art schools that get close to meeting the requirements. maybe i'm wrong, maybe i am making the worst choice in my life, i won't know until i go.

MassArts seems to be lacking in the staffing area possibly, etc, etc. but yet I still want to go there, probably for the money and the location. i would get to be close to a new set of family and stuff. yet there is snow and the school seems questionable in certain ways.

MICA plain rocks, it is most like a college experience and is perfect and they send me tons of stuff in the mail that encourages me to go more and more, stuff on careers and about their school, except for the fact that it is the most expensive and is in baltimore.

so i have no idea what to do. i just want to decide.

the cool

my lame post about being accepted to MICA and Syracuse barely covered the basics of that moment. more importantly, in this huge packet of stuff i received from MICA on my acceptance there was a handwritten letter from my admissions counselor. it makes one wonder if she wrote to select people or all the people accepted from the region she covers. anyway, since it was personal, cool, and interesting i thought i would share. above is the scanned version of the letter.

the real wait

today i got news from Oberlin. i have been waitlisted, which makes my decision super easy... NO!

so i will visit Puget Sound just for kicks, then continue to decide about the others.

obviously, i am not going to CSULB with all my other choices that outrank it stupendously (there is nothing wrong with it, i simply prefer the others.)

i am pretty confident about my decision to go to art school. which leaves to more or less choose from: MICA, CCA, and Mass Art. MICA and Mass Art both offer an art education department at their schools, which is rather appealing, along with offering a bit more of a unified, college experience. so i am leaning towards them, although i sincerely don't want to leave california or perhaps i'm just getting attached as i get closer to graduating.

in all honesty, my secret plan is to go to Mass Art, save some money and return to california, rather than spend tons of moola elsewhere. thank you for all my family telling me to shut up about money, but this is my logic. and i am not going to apologize.

the oops

well, i just wrote a long post about i don't even know what and realized i meant to write about how i was still waiting to hear from Oberlin and i am pretty nervous since i haven't heard from them yet.

based on their location, i am hesitant to go there, but reading about the school, it sounds like a good fit, or at least i'm interested in it. i just want to hear news from them, instead of waiting impatiently, unsure of whether they just have written me off and will never tell me about my acceptance status. i mean, i don't know if i would really mind getting rejected, then i would know what it feels like... to actually get rejected. or maybe it would just kill my already non-existant self-esteem.

the wait

many of my friends are hearing back and getting bad and good news. it's hard to react when people get rejected, it sucks, but there's not much you can say to make them feel better. well there are things, i'm just not good at it.

the waiting seems to be difficult, one of my friends is going to like explode, and has been on the verge of exploding, for the past week because UC Berkeley's decisions are coming out tomorrow.

for me, hearing back from schools from early action and special events and working on aplications later because of the art schools who have later due dates has allowed me not to really have much time to sit and worry about getting in. i got in to one place befoe i finished applying other places and it has made the rest of my journey easier i think. perhaps this is all just blab because it is after midnight.

harder for me is the deciding and dealing with unsolicited advice and opinions getting slingshot at me from every direction. granted, i appreciate them all highly and take them into consideration. each place offers such good aspects that i find it hard to decide when i get so many opinions and know i would be happy at all of them. so it's my job to filter and figure out what i want, me, me, me! ah, the college process is so selfish.

yet so annoying, cause people continue to ask me about my decision. well folks, i haven't made it. and trust me, when i do, you will hear about it! cause after i rejected Syracuse, i was excited and wanted to go shout off a cliff. not because i rejected something, but because it's satisfying when i make a decision, because i waffle a lot and am very indecisive.

hmmm, i kind of write this as if some mother or child is going to find this and read it along their college quest, but it's very doubtful. oh well, maybe if i leave it up long enough, some person will find some comfort in it, or help?

the rejection

high school seniors are moaning and groaning about getting rejected from schools, but there is the other side that i just realized isn't considered. we then have to reject all the schools that accepted us that we don't want to attend. granted, it is not such a personal attack to reject the school rather than the school rejecting the individual.

today i informed Syracuse that i was not going to enroll there. i sat and had qualms with my mom for a few minutes and then clicked the button, mainly because i want to make the $12,000 a year available to someone else, since i have the same opportunity at a school i am more likely to attend (Puget Sound).

so today, i had my first rejection, except i was rejecting them instead of them rejecting me... unless you count me deciding not to finish my application to Cal Poly.

the other

yesterday i heard from Puget Sound, i'm in with a scholarship.

i am slightly considering liberal art schools again with their hefty scholarships, but they are still more expensive than Mass Arts.

lastly, a note on my college experience, i choose schools i was pretty confident about getting into because i was looking for a place where i would be able to not work as hard as i have been in high school. not to say i am lazy, but i was a little more relaxed of a pressure, so that i can enjoy my learning experience a bit more and get more from it as a person, rather than just working myself to the bones.

i decided i wanted to experience life, rather than just push myself to be perfect.

that's why i have had such good luck getting into schools, i think.