the above piece is one of my favorites from my portfolio. it is one of my many pairs of converse in oil on a 16 by 20 canvas.on friday, mr. smith basically photographed my work for me, with a little assistance from me (thank you again). and i spent some time this week editing the photos, meaning cropping and rotating, and picking and choosing some to not be part of my portfolio and some to be a part of it.
this process sucks, i feel horrible about myself. while photographing, i was thinking that i didn have some work that i could send in and be proud of, yet as i picked and chose i came to realize that my work isn't all that great and i don't really think i have much to work with. perhaps this is just me being cynical, but i'm not feeling great about it.
i do have some hope though because i have yet to photograph a few pieces and my sketchbooks. most of these pieces i feel describe me a bit more and i like at the moment. so hopefully after this week i will feel better about my portfolio.
this weekend was a bust in terms of colleges in all other ways though. i have not touched my essays or any applications. i hope that if i talk to my mom she can help me this week after school, because it is getting closer to the time to turn things in and college is a bit more important than homework?
1 comment:
So sorry to hear you talk this way about your work. Some thoughts:
1. When I read a book of Mary Oliver's poems (she's my favorite poet), the majority of the poems don't really grab me, but a few totally bowl me over.
2. Same with my own poetry. Sometimes I think everything I write should be as good as the best things I've written, but it just doesn't work that way. Have to write a lot to get a few good ones.
3. Did you think your technique wasn't good enough? That's one thing you're going to college to learn, though, right? Maybe it's OK if your technique isn't where you want it to be yet. I'm thinking I've seen a quote from some famous writer or artist, too, saying that the striving for improvement in your work is important in your development as an artist, and that if you're satisfied with your work, you might stop striving ... OK, I'm sure that person said this much more clearly!
4. Were you worried that your work is not creative enough? IMHO, seems like your work is totally and delightfully creative, and that this is the most important thing in the long run. You can learn and practice technique, but maybe not everyone is blessed with the creativity piece.
5. Re: "i feel horrible about myself." Even though our creative work can be an intimate expression of ourselves, it is not us.
6. Yes, I agree, you have amazing stuff in your sketchbooks--some of that work has grabbed me the most. Artichokes. Plant growing out of a hand. And, of course, I love the ones I have in my possession!
Anyway, sending you love. Can't even imagine doing all you're doing on school applications, on top of school work. Hope it goes well and that it feels good to have it over with when it's done!
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